


Kylo Ren's Secret Journal !!DO NOT TOUCH!!

by gaymoon



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 18:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6205534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaymoon/pseuds/gaymoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren is the coolest kid in school and everybody loves him even though he's the only who listens to REAL music and has any fashion sense. He's also the best writer to ever exist and his totally accurate and 100% true friendfiction is going to prove that. </p>
<p>He's twelve, he's in his emo phase, and he's a young writer; this fic is exactly what you would expect from him. I recommend enjoying with that mid 2000's "it's not a phase mom" playlist that made up the background music of every middle school across America.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kylo Ren's Secret Journal !!DO NOT TOUCH!!

**Author's Note:**

> Kyluxinferno and m_iri wanted a shitty Kylo Ren self insert friendfiction and I couldn't help myself. I blame the entire Kylux fandom for this piece of work.

Kylo Ren glided into the school, dressed in his black skinny jeans, black Vader tee, and black and red checkered converse (one of a kind because he had drawn the checkers in himself, Converse had wanted to buy the shoes from him but that would make him a fucking sellout prep). His long black hair went all the way to his shoulders because he wanted it to and because it looked super cool with his shiny black nail polish. The wallet chain at his side jingled as he walked, making sure everyone knew he was coming. They would notice anyways even without it, Kylo was the coolest guy in school after all and everybody loved him even if they were almost all a bunch of fakers and wannabees. Poe Dameron waved at him, Kylo just stuck his middle finger up. He wouldn’t be caught dead talking to a jock like Poe, even if Poe was definitely in love with him. Poe’s boyfriend also waved at him, they were only dating because they knew they couldn’t have him, it was just sad really.

Everyone was in love with him but no one would ever _really_ understand him, they didn’t know how hard it was to be him and they could never understand how much he hurt on the inside. He suffered beautifully every night, writings deep words of poetry that tapped into his inner darkness. They only saw him as cool and mysterious and handsome and amazing but none of them would ever get it, not even Phasma his best friend. She wasn’t really emo like him but he could let it slide because she listened to real music and only went by her last name, which was obviously cooler and more mysterious than using her first name. She greeted him with a nod and then they did a really cool secret handshake that made everyone wish they could be his best friend instead of her. They wouldn’t say anything though because Phasma was the second toughest kid in the school (after him of course) and she could kick anyone’s ass.

They decided to skip class and Kylo didn’t even care if the school called his parents because he hated them and they wouldn’t understand anyways. They only wanted him to act the way they thought a respectable little boy should, they didn’t know the REAL him. Instead he and Phasma sat under the bleachers and smoked cigarettes and drank some alcohol that Kylo had stolen from his dad’s liquor shelf because it wasn’t like he cared anyways. They didn’t get drunk though because Kylo was really good at holding his alcohol, older kids were always inviting him to parties because he could drink more than anyone there but he never went because they wouldn’t know what real music was if he beat them with it, those kids only listened to shitty radio pop instead of REAL bands like Linkin Park and Evanescence and MCR. After a while they got bored and decided to go to the mall instead, usually it was full of preps and fucking fakers but there was one person there that Kylo wanted to see.

He was maybe the only person in the world who was actually worthy of Kylo Ren, and even then that would only be after Kylo got him to stop caring so much about stupid stuff like grades and keeping his hair perfect and his clothes neat all the time. He would look so much better with black eyeliner and black jeans and a black Vader tee that matched Kylo’s because then everyone would know that they were totally together and they would all just back the fuck off. Either way he was still pretty close to perfect, not like, as close as Kylo was but still. Who could be the only person even close to deserving of Kylo’s attention? It was none other than Hux, he pretended to be immune to Kylo Ren’s wit and charm and handsomeness but in reality he was secretly in love with Kylo too. One day they were going to get married and Kylo’s parents wouldn’t be invited because they were the worst and MCR would play so instead of slow dancing they would mosh. Also after the wedding they would do it and if anyone had a problem with that they could fuck off!!

Either way Phasma pointed him out from across the mall, she was the only person who knew about Kylo’s crush because she was a girl and girls are good a guessing about that kind of stuff. Hux was being bothered, as usual, by the worst person in the school, Mitaka.

No one liked Mitaka because he was loud and whiny and had beady little rat eyes that were always stuck on Hux’s back like he was some kind of creepy stalker or something. Mitaka probably only listened to top 40’s pop and was always trying to get Hux to side with the sheeple that crowded their middle school hallways. Mitaka was also a dirty, ugly, boyfriend stealer and it didn’t even matter because Hux hated him just as much as everyone else and was only friends with him out of pity and because they were neighbors. It was Kylo’s job to save Hux from this gross fucking faker and that was what he was going to do.

He stormed up powerfully, Mitaka looked scared and Hux looked like he was trying not to be impressed by Kylo’s presence. You could totally tell he was though because the tips of his ears went pink and he got the lightest spattering of a blush against his freckled cheeks no matter how much he pretended he wasn’t attracted to Kylo in order to seem cool.

  
“Hey.” Kylo said, all flirty and dangerous at the same time.  
  
“What do you want Ren?” Hux asked, trying not to sound embarrassed.

“For you to be my boyfriend.” He replied, a confident smirk on his face that proved he totally knew Hux would say yes anyways.  
  
Hux went bright red all over the place, like all over his ears and his face and stuff. After the longest moment he gave a nod and they kissed deeply right in front of the fountain. Mitaka cried but nobody cared because the whole mall was too busy applauding them, they knew that Hux and Kylo were meant to be together and they were so happy that the Hot Topic manager came out and said that he and Hux could have whatever they wanted from the store. Phasma took a ton of pictures too because she is the best best friend someone as cool and popular as Kylo Ren could ask for. Also she took pictures of Mitaka crying and posted them online so that everyone would know he was a big shitty baby who nobody liked.

Hux smiled really big and they hugged a lot and he totally let Kylo pick out his new outfit so that they could have matching Vader tees and let everyone know that they were in love and to back off. It was the best day ever.

The end.


End file.
